and then, what...?

I've used some time to reflect on my turning 40 recently. Sure, it was an enjoyable, memorable occasion, spent with good friends and family, and with their company and generosity, but aside from the company and material representations of their well wishes, what else is there to it all?

For many men reaching my age, some a little earlier, others a little later, often head into mid-life crises. Race out to a young hottie and / or a red sports car to maintain the alpha male status and prowess. Not one to fall for such cliches, I looked inwards rather than outwards and began to ask "and then, what" ?

There have been many people, places, events and milestones that have inspired, threatened, tricked and taught me to be the way I am. In that respect, there is nothing unique as I'm sure we all have our influences, good and bad. My chosen path to do what I do keeps resurfacing again and again, adhering to my thoughts and actions, the people I talk to and associate with and I feel like a snowball that has been gathering momentum and most surprisingly of all, even to as far as Japan!

So my thoughts and actions are poised to add to increasing the velocity and volume of the growing snowball. As with all things, nothing goes according to plan. There are hurdles, setbacks and delays. Things do not result as expected and plans go awry. Why?

A few years ago I was introduced to influential and great thinkers who have asked the same questions that millions of people and they have concluded that it has to do with the self. The ego. Id. Me. Myself. Some will say that it is a bad thing to be egocentric, while others do not and believe it is as natural as the rising sun. We are in evolution and proponents to the survival of the fittest (if you are a Darwinian) or if you believe in fate, it is destined. Believers place their faith in that we are just following a divine path of your culture or choice.

In an exercise, I was asked to question why I do what I do and to finish with the answer, "and then, what?" Some of you may already know what I am talking about but this applies to everything and anything we do. "and then, what?"

Reading the teachings and thoughts by Krishnamurti helped to give renewed direction to my energies and thoughts. Look within. Face yourself. Face your fears and embrace them. Seek the truth so that you can arrive at a destination. It may be a temporary one but this is what life is all about.

In my martial arts training, there aren't many groups which can take their physical action and match it with intelligent, careful and mindful training. Some may talk about it but in reality are not in-sync with what they claim to practice. Others practice too much (for my personal liking) and lose the plot. Yes, I have sought them out, people and groups who can balance their physical abilities with a matched intellectual balance and its very refreshing to see the potential and clarity in their actions, thoughts, and spoken word. This way of training, in martial arts or any physical movement, is wonderful and is more complete as it connects the mind with the body. Effective movement and effective thinking, united as one.

I believe there is always a way to train intelligently, mindfully and being able to control your emotions and thoughts or to be able to set them aside during times of action so as not to delay your reactions. The challenge is to find your own path, "and then, what?"